September 10, 2008 Debate

Topic: Tequila vs Vodka

This weeks Great Debators: Yugo and Adam Dorsey!!

Take 1 - Tequila - Yugo

Tequila comes to party like the tattooed Raider fan it is. There’s no getting around it. It doesn’t try to hide it. If you’re drinking tequila, you’re going to have a really great time and then get really really wasted- probably puke, and maybe start a back-alley brawl. There’s no debating its intentions and it makes no apologies.

Vodka on the other hand, is like a sneaky Russian spy, camouflaged in cranberry juice and tonic. It comes marketed as an “upper-class” sophisticated choice of alcohol. But if you look beyond the Smirnoff bottle, you'll find a leather jacket, fish net jersey, and a stolen car. Vodka leads to blackouts, projectile vomits in taxi cabs, and peeing on dining room floors. Don’t be fooled by the propaganda.

I'll admit, tequila isn’t for everyone. I don’t always drink it. But when it’s a hot day on the Chevy’s patio, nothing sounds better than a pitcher of Margaritas, and not just because that’s the only edible thing on the menu. There is no substitute for tequila. …Vodka cran? Rum and Diet Coke? Gin and Tonic? If you're not having one, the other probably works. But not for tequila. When you crave a maragarita, nothing is more satisfying than that first salted rimmed sip.

Tequila often gets knocked for its versatility. And to an extent, vodka is a more “versatile” alcohol choice. But, lets not forget the many varieties of margaritas that exist – strawberry, mango ,.. banana. You also have Tequila sunrises which are bomb as are tequila tonics (… actually, not really good at all.) Plus this debate is about Tequila vs Vodka, not the juices u mix with vodka. Ever try taking a shot of Vodka? If not, you could also try a shot of lighter fluid, bleach, or embalming fluid. All of them taste just like Vodka.

Plain and simple, Mexicans are better than Russians. I mean they both are going to steal your car, but tequila just smashes the window and drives away. Vodka delivers your pizza, cases your house for months, and waits until all your “work clothes” are piled in your back seat.

Take 2 - Vodka - Adam Dorsey

Vodka is a common chemical substance that is essential for the survival of all known forms of life. About 1.460 petatonnes (Pt) (1021kilograms) of Vodka covers 71% of the Earth's surface, mostly in my belly and other large bodies. Some of the Earth's Vodka is contained within Vodka towers, biological bodies, manufactured products, ice caps, bottles, or in cups, where it provides fresh Vodka for life on land.

Vodka has been detected in interstellar clouds within our galaxy. It is believed that Vodka exists in abundance in other galaxies too, because its components are among the most delicious elements in the universe. Vodka is vital as an essential part of many metabolic processes within the body. The human body is anywhere from 55% to 78% Vodka depending on body size. Vodka is used as a heat transfer fluid in diverse heat exchange systems, due to its availability and high heat capacity. In the nuclear industry, Vodka can also be used as a neutron moderator. Vodka cannot be used to fight fires of electric equipment, because Vodka is electrically conductive.

Humans use Vodka for many recreational purposes, as well as for exercising and for sports. Some of these include drinking, having drinks, beverages, and ice fishing. Vodka is used in low-cost, non-polluting, renewable power generation. Vodkaelectricity is electricity obtained from Vodka driving a Vodka turbine connected to a generator. Vodka is mentioned in the Bible 442 times; Peter states, "The earth was formed out of Vodka and by Vodka". In Celtic mythology, Vodka is one of the 5 elements, others including fire, earth, space, and air. In Islam, not only does Vodka give life, but every life is itself made of Vodka: "We made from Vodka every living thing".

In many parts of the world - especially developing countries - there is a Vodka crisis, and it is estimated that by 2025 more than half of the world population will be facing Vodka-based vulnerability. I’ll bet you didn’t know that approximately 70% of fresh Vodka is consumed by agriculture. Politics affected by Vodka is an unfortunate import from Russia. Because of overpopulation, mass consumption, misuse, and Vodka pollution, the availability of drinking Vodka per capita is inadequate and shrinking. UNESCO's World Vodka Development Report (WVDR, 2003) from its World Vodka Assessment Program indicates that, in the next 20 years, the quantity of Vodka available to everyone is predicted to decrease by 30%. In 2004, the UK charity VodkaAid reported that a child dies every 15 seconds from easily preventable Vodka-related diseases.

Contact your legislator now and tell them to stop the madness.